Top 3 Reasons to Stop Shoulding on Yourself

Top 3 Reasons to Stop Shoulding on Yourself

Many of us are super aware of our short-comings and often beat ourselves up with the should's we don't measure up to. If you're one of those people always saying "I should..." like "I should be in grad school," "I should be able to afford a house by now," "I should be married by now..." this is for you. Basically, it can all be summed up in the belief that, "I'm not good enough, I should be better."

Self-awareness of your weaknesses is actually a healthy thing. But it is a totally different thing from beating yourself up about your weaknesses through constant “shoulding” or basing your self-worth on what others are doing. In this video, I lay out the top 3 reasons, according to research by Kristin Neff, to let go of the should's and practice more self-compassion. 

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Give Yourself Permission to Not "Have It All"

Give Yourself Permission to Not "Have It All"

Until a few years ago, it rarely occurred to me to spend time thinking about what my values were, what I truly wanted out of life, and how to work towards those values every day. Instead, I raced through life like a freight train, trying to be “efficient” while actually just wasting time on my smart phone and worrying too much about other people’s opinions. At the time, the main goal of my life was to move up in my career and personal life. Instead of stopping to say “How do I want to move up?” or even “What is my ‘up’? What does ‘moving up’ mean to me?,” I just ran, hoping whichever way I was going was that up. I went in every direction that looked decent in order to “have it all.” In the end, though, I just felt lost.

I’ve come to a point where I no longer believe I must have it all or be it all. So many women feel this pressure today. We’re told it’s possible to have it all if we do ‘these 5 things’ or buy this product or that one...

I’m here to tell you what I try to remind myself every day: you don’t and can’t have to have it all.

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