How to Shut Up Perfectionism

How to Shut Up Perfectionism

“If I don’t get this just right, what’s the point?”

So you give up or run yourself ragged to make everything “perfect” until you have nothing left to give. If this is you, perfectionism may be keeping you from experiencing fulfillment in life. Your expectations of yourself are so intense that there’s no way you could ever reach them. As a result, you’re unhappy and restless.

I understand because I’ve been there. In writing this blog, I have to fight my own inner critic that says, “Well, if you’re not sure that this is perfect and everyone will like it, maybe you should wait…or not publish at all…” That can lead to “You’re a failure and you’ll never get it all right.” That got dark fast, huh? That’s perfectionism for you. 

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown tells us, “Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.”

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Give Yourself Permission to Not "Have It All"

Give Yourself Permission to Not "Have It All"

Until a few years ago, it rarely occurred to me to spend time thinking about what my values were, what I truly wanted out of life, and how to work towards those values every day. Instead, I raced through life like a freight train, trying to be “efficient” while actually just wasting time on my smart phone and worrying too much about other people’s opinions. At the time, the main goal of my life was to move up in my career and personal life. Instead of stopping to say “How do I want to move up?” or even “What is my ‘up’? What does ‘moving up’ mean to me?,” I just ran, hoping whichever way I was going was that up. I went in every direction that looked decent in order to “have it all.” In the end, though, I just felt lost.

I’ve come to a point where I no longer believe I must have it all or be it all. So many women feel this pressure today. We’re told it’s possible to have it all if we do ‘these 5 things’ or buy this product or that one...

I’m here to tell you what I try to remind myself every day: you don’t and can’t have to have it all.

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